Without Merit

Content Warning: This section contains discussion of depression and suicide.

“I can say with certainty that we live in the most unusual house in this whole town. I say house because it is certainly not a home. And inside this house are seven of the most unusual occupants. […] We’re good at keeping secrets in this family.”

Merit views her family members through a limited, judgmental lens. Her family communicates poorly with each other, lies, and keeps secrets, preventing Merit from feeling at home in Dollar Voss. Merit’s perspective of her family changes drastically as the novel progresses, as does Merit’s consideration of Dollar Voss as a home.

“But I do feel invisible in this house most of the time and I’m curious how long it will take before someone notices I haven’t spoken out loud.”

Merit feels disconnected from her family members. Additionally, she feels undervalued and insignificant. After a few days of Merit not speaking, Sagan notices her silence while Merit’s family members do not. This validates her attraction to Sagan and reinforces her alienation from her family.

“When I first saw Sagan at the antiques store, I had a quiet fear that he was out of my league. But when I found out he was dating Honor, it never even crossed my mind that she was out of his league. I hate that I might have thought she deserved him more than I did.”

Merit regularly compares herself to Honor, often viewing herself critically and feeling envious of her twin. She doesn’t like feeling jealous of her Honor, but Merit continues to allow her self-worth to be defined partly by how she feels she measures up to her sister. Thinking that Honor is dating Sagan, Merit’s self-deprecatory opinions unravel her already low self-esteem.