Whiskey Tender

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of racism, death, suicidal ideation, and substance use.

“Native memoirs are rare because there are rules on Indian reservations. We fear appropriation and fight about who has the right to speak. Talking to outsiders is taboo. And our belief systems often go against this kind of preservation and self-telling. So why divulge my story? Because I want Native kids to feel more connected and less lonely. Because I hate the portrayal of my people as dependents unable to better their own circumstances and tell their own stories. Because I need to understand what aspects of my personality were seeded in that New Mexican town all those years ago.”

In this passage, Taffa describes some of the prohibitions against memoir writing in Indigenous cultures and her reasons for breaking that silence. Growing up, she had no access to media that portrayed a reality like hers, and this lack of representation contributed to her teenage feelings of depression and isolation. The context she needed to define and explain her reality was shrouded in shame and silence, and she hopes that telling her story will prevent other young Indigenous people from struggling with the same experience. Her choice to write a memoir is also an act of cultural reclamation. By breaking the silence imposed by assimilation and internalized shame, she challenges stereotypes and asserts the right of Indigenous people to tell their own stories on their own terms. This quote highlights The Effects of Assimilation Policies on Indigenous Identities.

“Dad belonged to the desert like a naturally rooted cedar, and the incongruent way he started shrinking small in town was scary. His new docility embarrassed me.”

Early on in her childhood, Taffa noticed how her parents belonged to separate spaces. Her father was more comfortable in the desert, while her mother thrived in town. This is one of the first indications of how Indigenous people like Edmond have to shrink or deny certain aspects of their identity to fit in with mainstream American society.