When We Collided

“My dad used to joke that he’d forget his head if my mom didn’t sew it on every morning. I was too young to know the saying about forgetting your head if it weren’t attached to your body. Instead, I stared at my dad’s collar. I wanted to see Frankenstein zigzags across his neck. Then he died, and it turned out my mom relied on him for basic function, too. My mom mostly stays in her bedroom now. Sometimes I wonder if she’s whispering to her heart: Beat. Beat. Beat. To her lungs: In, out. In, out. Like it takes all her time and energy to exist.” 

The above passage introduces the reader to Jonah Daniels and his deceased father. In just a few sentences, Lord tells the story of Mr. and Mrs. Daniels and the grief that now consumes the latter after her husband’s death. This passage also makes it clear that Jonah understands the depth of his mother’s loss. This explains his reluctance to convince her to attend therapy.

“‘There’s no point in guilt-tripping. She can’t make herself feel better. I can’t make her feel better—none of us can. The least we can do is not make it worse.’” 

Jonah sums up his, Silas, and Naomi’s attitude towards their mother’s grief. They are young but they too are grieving. They realize no one can make her feel better, so they simply try to make things as easy for her as they can. 

“With all her professed gratitude, my mom must understand that we’re doing her job. The three of us older kids are trying to make up for two parents, day in and day out. I’d probably try to shake my mom awake if she didn’t look breakable.” 

This passage establishes both Jonah’s maturity and his resignation to the situation. Although Jonah recognizes his mother’s grief and the Daniels children's attempts to fill their parents’ shoes, he realizes that it will never be enough. Jonah is both angry and sad for his mother—he loves her but resents her for abandoning them.