When We Collided

Vivi is upset about her father and spends her time painting and sewing. Carrie is proud of her for using art as an emotional outlet. Vivi also discovers that her father and mother had an affair while he was finishing his PhD in Berkeley. Vivi also finds out that she has two half-siblings, an older brother and a younger sister. Carrie used the child support for Vivi’s college fund, other times for groceries, rent, a new coat for Vivi, or a babysitter before Carrie’s art became a sought-after commodity. Vivi understands this and does not blame her mother. Vivi is angry, however, at her father, and the thought that she might have inherited some of his selfishness.

Officer Hayashi stops by to check on Vivi after missing her at breakfast. She tells him about her father and Officer Hayashi responds by saying: “But that’s life. Gotta deal with what you got” (156). Vivi snaps back at him, asking if he has any kids, but he walks away. Carrie gives Vivi her belated birthday gift, a small white dog named Sylvia, whose owner moved into a retirement community. Carrie tells Vivi that Sylvia is her responsibility and now “someone else’s life depends on [her] keeping it together” (157). Jonah visits Vivi, and she allows him to see her without her usual make up on, thinking: “I don’t have the energy to be his Vivi today, not by a long shot” (157). Jonah is surprised to see her but is mostly concerned about her well-being. They go for a walk with Sylvia and Jonah tries to get Vivi to talk to him. She does not budge until he mentions the rain. She claims that she “know[s] everything about rain” and gets “snippy and unyielding” (160) with him. Jonah tells her that Officer Hayashi’s wife and daughter died a few years ago and while Vivi knows she should feel guilty, she is mostly sad.

Vivi asks Jonah, hypothetically, how he would kill himself, and later, asks if he believes in heaven. Jonah says that he wants to believe but is unnerved by all her questions about death. Vivi climbs into Jonah’s lap and asks him to sneak in and sleep in her room that night. They fall asleep together and he comforts her even in sleep. 

Jonah walks in on his mom and Felix chatting over coffee at the dinner table. Felix is asking for her help with the restaurant’s finances, just as Jonah had asked Ellie to suggest. Mrs. Daniels asks Jonah to stay with the younger kids, and Jonah resents her for telling him this like he has not been doing it for months. After they leave, Jonah takes a nap and then plays with Leah. Isaac and Bekah begin arguing over the remote and they knock over a picture frame of their mother and father on their wedding day. Jonah yells at then for the first time. He shouts that he’s “not a grown up” and that they’re “making this so much harder than it already is” (166). He calls them “assholes,” “selfish,” and tells them they need to “think about each other” (166). The two children are crying, and Silas tells Jonah to stop.

Jonah immediately apologizes and takes off running. He feels guilty for yelling, angry at his parents, and unsure what to do with his life. Jonah finds himself at Vivi’s door and heads up to her room. Vivi is painting and her bedroom is a mess. Jonah tries to ask her if she thinks about them long-term and she gives him a variety of answers, ranging from them living together and having a child, to moving to India, to leaving each other and then having affairs with one another. Jonah moves on from the conversation and tries to tell her about Bekah and Isaac but Vivi is not listening, too distracted by her creative projects, especially painting the edges of her ceiling.

Jonah ends up asking if Vivi’s drunk because she’s “acting crazy” (169) and this enrages her. She snaps her fingers and begins ranting about her creative energy. Jonah leaves in a fit of rage. Ellie spots him as she leaves, and they end up chatting about Jonah shouting at his siblings. Ellie rubs his back and listens to him; she tells him everyone snaps sometimes and that his siblings know how much he loves them. Ellie encourages Jonah to talk to his mother and tell her that they need help. Jonah agrees and thanks Ellie for listening to him. After, Jonah returns home and apologizes to Bekah and Isaac, explaining that he lost his temper because of how worried he is and how much he misses their father. Bekah and Isaac understand this and encourage him to tell them when he’s feeling sad.

Vivi wakes Jonah up that night with a series of texts. She is downstairs waiting for him and tries to make up with sex. Although Jonah is initially reluctant and does not want to make up this way, she “won’t slow down” (175), and he knows something is wrong.

On the way home from Jonah’s house, Vivi becomes obsessed with numbers. She is convinced the number 66 is a message to her from the universe. She follows these signs until she sees a mailbox with those numbers, following it to a new set, 1011. She sees this number on the diner’s opening hours and she goes in for breakfast, hoping for another sign. After eating breakfast, Vivi uses her total as her new set of numbers, convinced that the universe has a greater plan for her. Vivi searches all day and night and ultimately returns home empty-handed.

She lies to her mother about where she’s been. Vivi changes and searches the number 760 up online. She discovers that it’s one of the area codes for San Diego and immediately makes to depart. Vivi wonders if the universe could be giving her the secret to time travel and she hurries to her Vespa. Outside, Jonah is waiting, wanting to talk about the night before. Instead, Vivi wants to have sex with him, but Jonah pulls away from her kisses. She is frustrated by this, but instead, tells him about San Diego. He offers to come with her and makes them both wear helmets.

Vivi is speeding, which worries Jonah, and he asks her to pull over. He gets off the Vespa and tells her that they’re going home; Jonah is terrified but Vivi is furious. She stands up on her bikes and jumps off of it. She thinks that she is “airborne and weightless and soaring and free” (182).

Jonah is in shock after Vivi leaps off her bike and crumples it into the ground. The Vespa hits a tree and Jonah can see a broken bone jutting out of Vivi’s body. Jonah has been screaming for help, and people come to hold him back. The police and medics arrive, and Jonah passes out from shock as he hears the helicopter overhead.