When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

Chödrön’s premise is that there is much about modern life that causes stress and difficult feelings, and people often will do anything to avoid unpleasantness. They dull themselves with pleasure, search for theories that give them a sense of control, act out angrily when thwarted, and battle futilely against death. Chödrön acknowledges that these activities seem worthwhile but end up causing suffering. When, according to the author, people practice Buddhist Meditation and learn thereby to accept their feelings and realities, they find a sense of serenity; they also discover that many of the problems they’ve struggled against lose their importance or disappear altogether.

Everyone who searches for enlightenment—even the Buddha himself, in the Buddhist tradition—must confront four maras, which Buddhist philosophy characterizes as psychological “demons” that dissuade seekers from the path to liberation. The first demon, devaputra mara, is one’s search for pleasure: It distracts from anxiety and dulls sensitivity to pain. While pleasure may make a person feel less distressed, other areas of life begin to malfunction.

The second demon, skandha mara, is the yearning for control, especially with theories that explain away one’s problems. When bad events shake a person’s confidence, they work hard to rebuild their egos and fortify their defenses against trouble.