When Breath Becomes Air

The Epilogue is written by Paul’s wife, Lucy. In the time that Paul and Cady’s lives overlapped, there were countless moments of joy, including Cady enjoying mashed yams on Christmas, despite the sorrows experienced as Paul’s health declined.

After Paul is given supplemental oxygen starting in February, Lucy is unable to get him to eat even his favorite foods, such as her breakfast sandwiches or smoothies. The new, rare tumors that have formed in Paul’s brain, leptomeningeal carcinomatosis, mean not only a mere several months’ life expectancy, but also neurologic decline. This news hit Paul the hardest.

He agrees to enter into a clinical trial. To prepare, he’s stopped taking the daily targeted-therapy pill. Because there is a possibility of this causing a flare-up, Lucy has been videotaping him doing the same task daily to check for any inconsistencies in speech patterns. He reads T.S. Eliot’s The Wasteland, often from memory. During what ended up being his last Saturday, Lucy limits nonfamily visitors, and Paul holds Cady in his arms with his family in their living room. The manuscript for his book is only partially completed at this point, and he realizes he is unlikely to finish it.

The next day, Paul wakes up with a 104-degree fever.