What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma

Complex PTSD clouds people’s basic sensory instincts: Survivors of trauma expect danger and therefore are often blind to social cues that others might not miss. This is why racism and oppression can cause PTSD and why consuming threatening media can damage mental health. For example, a study conducted by neuropsychologist Negar Fani at Emory University reveals that Black women who experience racist microaggressions see structural changes in their brains similar to those seen in victims of PTSD. Foo realizes this is partly why she felt the most anxious and threatened at her previous workplace, where she had to report on the topics of white supremacy and violence perpetrated against people of color while shouldering her boss’ criticisms. She realizes she is not inherently broken or fragile for feeling anxious: Her insecurities had systemic causes.

Foo continues to work with Dr. Ham on analyzing their conversations. Soon, Foo finds a pattern in her habits and begins to think about changing them in practice. Although she still stumbles often, she concludes that she should approach social interactions with curiosity rather than fear.

Six weeks after the start of her therapy with Dr. Ham, Foo discovers Dr. Ham’s YouTube channel. She watches a video called “Healing Attachment Trauma through Attuned Love.