What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma

In 2017, as Foo is overwhelmed with work and new anxieties brought on by the nascent Trump presidency, her father calls her to complain about his rebellious sons. He complains that he is anxious about being a good father, that he can only speak frankly with Foo, and that he wants to die. Foo is outraged that her father pressures her to care for his emotional needs when it should be the other way around.

Foo contends that while her father has at times helped to support her financially, he has never taken care of her. When she meets with him, he only ever speaks of his own problems. One day, realizing that he might have ruined his daughter’s life, he offers to make it up to her if she gives him a list of things he can do for her. Foo is enraged that even now her father puts the burden on her to provide him with solutions. Foo has to explain her mother’s abuse and her history with her father to her mother-in-law, who had no idea Foo’s mother was not present in her life. Foo’s mother-in-law is angered to learn that her father has withheld this information from his new wife.