What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma

Foo has a falling out with her family in Malaysia when she is 16. Her father has taken to complaining about her to his family, and on her next visit they criticize her for being inconsiderate of her father. Unable to withstand Auntie’s comments, some of which stem from lies or half-truths spun by her father, Foo stays away from Malaysia for five years, her longest absence to date.

She agrees to visit them again with her father when she learns that Auntie has fallen ill. This time, Foo musters up the courage to interview Auntie about her past. The conversation suddenly turns to Foo’s childhood. Auntie admits that everybody was kind to Foo not because she was the favorite child but because they were aware that her mother abused her. When Foo asks why nobody interfered, Auntie replies that if they had done anything, Foo’s mother would have been even angrier at both Foo and her father, making the situation worse. Auntie claims that there was not much they could have done other than to treat Foo with extra kindness and give her the tools to survive. Life is simply unfair, Auntie concludes.