What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma

This chapter recounts Foo’s memories of growing up in the ethnically diverse neighborhood of San Jose. In Foo’s recollections, the “majority minority” community saw itself as a cohesive unit and encouraged residents to borrow different cultural elements from one another. For example, it was accepted that Foo was head of the Japanese Club just as it was fine to bring chana masala to school without being Indian. Though the wider society categorized their different identities as “Asians” or “Hispanics,” these boundaries were not experienced as divisive in Foo’s childhood. Many of the younger generation grew up to have successful careers, perpetuating the widespread image of the successful immigrant.

However, under the surface of cultural harmony loomed a certain degree of unprocessed trauma. Some of her peers’ parents had fled their countries to escape various types of social upheavals, while others might have arrived without documentation. Many had experienced some degree of poverty, abuse, or sexual assault and never processed these traumatic experiences. Most parents did not speak of these experiences at all.

Some of this unprocessed trauma likely affected these parents’ actions. For example, beatings were considered normal among Foo’s circle of friends. Most children were expected to excel in school or receive punishment.