What Made Maddy Run: The Secret Struggles and Tragic Death of an All-American Teen

Chapter 4 describes Madison’s increasingly fragile emotional and mental state in November of 2013. Madison turns to her sister Ashley for advice. Ashley had difficulty adjusting at Penn State and was much happier at the University of Alabama. However, unlike Ashley, who was unhappy at school but regained her happiness when she left, Madison says that she is unhappy everywhere. Madison’s family suggests that she needs to leave Penn for a less competitive environment. Still, Madison worries this is a superficial solution. Madison openly discusses her unhappiness with her friends and family, regularly asking for advice on whether she should transfer or not. However, she is upset by her father telling his friends that she doesn’t like Penn.

By November, Madison is increasingly anxious, but she tries to recalibrate her happiness through time management, blocking off time in her schedule for sports, studying, and friends. At Thanksgiving, Madison’s core friend group from high school gets together. Except for one friend, all of them have struggled to find happiness at college. Madison’s partying takes on an edge, but her family and friends don’t realize how quickly her uneasiness is escalating. No one raises a red flag. Madison is disappointed by a counseling appointment with Penn’s Counseling and Psychological Services.