63 pages • 2 hours read
Content Warning: This section contains mentions and descriptions of physical and emotional abuse, violence, and trauma.
Winfrey remembers being “whupped” regularly by her grandmother, Hattie Mae, as a form of discipline; however, even at age three, she “knew what (she) was experiencing was wrong” (11). She recounts one particularly painful incident, where she was whipped on her backside for twirling her fingers in the water of the family well, and then lying about it. When she put on her white Sunday-best dress after, the blood from her injuries seeped through and stained the dress, for which she was additionally chastised. Winfrey was regularly whipped growing up, always followed by an admonishment that she should stop crying and put a smile on her face. She notes that this pattern of conditioned compliance came to define all her relationships and interactions as she grew up, turning her into a people pleaser. It took her years to learn to set boundaries for herself and say “no.” Her conversations with Perry taught her that the results of her upbringing were not only emotional but had a biological impact as well. He taught her that understanding the brain’s reaction to stress and trauma helps one see how the past shapes an individual’s personality, behavior, and responses, and the adaptability of the brain lends hope that one can recalibrate, heal, and move forward with life.
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