What Alice Forgot

Moriarty explores the cyclical nature of resentment in marriage through Alice and Nick's mutual frustrations with one another. Often, the resentment of one party leads to decisions which increase the resentment of the other. Initially, Alice finds it impossible to fathom the events that led her and Nick to talk to each other so hatefully. When she begins to untangle the events and decisions that caused feelings of betrayal and resentment to arise between them, she finds they are mutually at fault.

Alice resents Nick working long hours; she struggles looking after three children on her own. When she regains her memory, she is struck by her angry thought that Nick was “never there” (419). Nick resents the way Alice treats him like a fool when he tries to help at home: “I’d be at work, where people respected my opinions … and then I’d come home and it was like I was the village idiot. I’d pack the dishwasher the wrong way. I’d pick the wrong clothes for the children” (383). This causes him to withdraw more from their domestic life: “I stopped offering to help. It wasn’t worth the criticism” (383). This leads Alice to feel even more resentful of Nick’s lack of involvement at home; she feels that Nick treats her like “the hired help” when he is home, reading the paper while she struggles to dress and organize the children and prepare food (420). Nick senses Alice’s resentment of him when Gina is going out on first dates, returning looking “all glittery and flushed” while Alice is “lying on the couch in her tracksuit pants” (421).

A married couple’s feeling of security or insecurity can be influenced by the dynamics of other married couples in their social group. For instance, the betrayal that takes place between Mike and Gina, when Mike kisses Jackie Holloway in the laundry and Alice and Nick’s party, impacts Nick and Alice’s relationship. Because the infidelity triggers Nick and Alice’s insecurities, they “[play] out another version of [Mike and Gina’s] fights” (420). Later, Alice and Gina interpret it as a betrayal when Nick maintains his friendship with Mike after Mike and Gina’s separation. Nick feels a sense of betrayal when Alice tells Gina about her pregnancy with Olivia before she tells him. Alice recalls that “the nastiness seemed to begin so quickly and so easily, as if they’d always hated each other, and here at last was their opportunity to stop pretending and let each other know how they really felt” (427).

Moriarty’s incorporation of wealth and status as themes in the novel provides another area of potential resentment as it relates to marriage. The women in Alice’s world are always comparing themselves to one another. Their perceived success as wives and mothers, in addition to their wealth, elevates their status, hence Alice’s frequent organizing of lavish events. Resentment emerges between Alice and Elisabeth because even though Elisabeth is Alice’s sister, she cannot participate in this world. Elisabeth resents Alice’s role as a busy mother, as well as Nick and Alice’s wealth. She says, “you think the world begins and ends with you and your perfect little family and your perfect little life and you think stress is finding the perfectly color-coordinated cushions for your new $10,000 sofa” (106). Alice, in turn, resents Elisabeth’s “bitter, angry” manner throughout her infertility struggles (422).

To break the cycle of betrayal and resentment, Moriarty recommends that couples (or siblings or friends) put aside their hurt and listen to one another. This can be difficult, as it is for Alice and Nick because neither wants to concede that they are at fault. Listening without judgment is the first step toward forgiveness and reconciliation.