We Have Always Been Here: A Queer Muslim Memoir

Habib begins a job as an editorial assistant for an automotive publication at the age of 24. There, they meet Abi, their boss, who is an out lesbian married to a woman named Megan. Habib begins shortening their first name to “Sam” due to their Canadian coworkers’ tendency to mispronounce their name.

Abi is Habib’s “window into the queer world” (83). Abi and Megan model a healthy romantic relationship for Habib, who did not know it was possible. Meanwhile, Habib drifts further away from Peter, and the two lead separate lives. Habib goes to New York with Andrew, where they party with other LGBTQ+ people. Habib tries to work up the nerve to flirt with women and fails; they are still too afraid of showing their desires publicly.

Habib spends Eid with their family and reconnects with their father. He apologizes for his behavior when they were younger and offers to help them buy a home with Peter. Habib wants to file for a divorce and leave Peter to live authentically and date women. They swallow their desires and buy a condominium with Peter, hoping that it salvages the marriage and allows them to live a heterosexual life.