We Are Okay

Marin begins to dread Mabel’s ever-closer departure. She realizes that once Mabel leaves, she will be alone again, in an empty dorm room devoid of Christmas decoration or cheer. Mabel has not pushed for more answers, but Marin hopes that she will; she thinks they are both waiting for the other to make the first move. Finally, she says that she needs to tell Mabel about what happened between her departure for college and Marin’s flight to New York.

In August, the days after Mabel leaves for college, Marin spends a lot of time at the beach. She watches the water and tries to imagine her mother there. She sees two surfers looking at her and, she imagines, explaining to their companion who she is. One of the men approaches and says she looks a lot like her mother; he says, “I’ve got a van in the lot and some time to spare” (159). Marin stiffens and dismisses him. Feeling awful, she tries to think of what she needs to fill the growing hole inside her. She thinks of Ana but feels stupid, as Ana is not her mother.