40 pages • 1 hour read
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“He was wearing his headphones—Meek Mill blasting in his ears—when he thought he heard shouting, felt footsteps pounding in the alley. He turned and instinctively reached for his phone in his pocket to turn off the music. That was stupid. He knew better. No sudden movements. Don’t be a threat. Do what they say. His mom had drilled this into him since he was old enough to walk. He didn’t even have a chance thought; his mind moved so much slower than the bullets.”
Justin’s regret of making a harmless move that anyone would make highlights how common this type of violence is for the Black community. The only defense they have against this type of violence is to warn the next generation to comply. This helps to reinforce how common it is for Black people, especially men, to be seen as a threat. This reflection is especially poignant after the opening lines, in which Justin thinks getting shot doesn’t feel like he thought it would, showing he has imagined it before. This ideology is repeated throughout the novel, as Riley feels Justin’s death could have so easily been one of her own family. Any other Black man she knows, especially her brother, could have been shot unarmed. This is not an isolated event.
““I’m just freaked out, you know. The closer I get…’ Jen stops and looks down at her stomach again. ‘The scarier it is. There are so many things that can go wrong, you know what I mean?’ I know exactly what she means—the biting fear that everything you’ve worked for can disappear in a second, that you can bust your butt, do everything right, and it won’t matter one bit. I know it all too well.”
While the women struggle with the role that race plays in their lives and friendship, they are also pulled by their other expectations in life: for Jenny, motherhood, and for Riley, her career. However, this quote is underpinned by the expectation drilled into Riley for her whole life that she will need to work harder and be better than those around her if she wants to be successful. While Jenny struggles with infertility here, Riley speaks to the unpredictability of being a Black woman.
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