We All Want Impossible Things

Content Warning: This section of the guide discusses terminal illness, death, and grieving, which feature in the source text.

“We’ve been—Edi’s been—at the Graceful Shepherd Hospice for three weeks now. Three weeks is a long time at hospice, but also, because of what hospice means, it kind of flies by.”

The narrative opens in medias res. Edi is already hospice, so she is certainly going to die; the suspense lies in how the rest of her life is going to play out, and how the people around her will handle it.

“I love the people at the table so much, and the food is so good, and Edi is so sick, and I miss Jules, even though she’s only an hour and a half away. Plus, the lovely, changing light! My poor marriage! The red wine, the candle glow, ‘Galileo’ seeping out of the speaker. I could just cry.”

Passages like this one can be found throughout the novel, giving insight into Ash’s character and thought processes. At one and the same moment, Ash can be thinking about the most important things in her life, and the most mundane and contingent things in her life.

“‘I’m always here,’ he says. And he could mean here in his old house, which is true—he’s here all the time. Or he could mean here, available to me still, in all of the marriage ways, which is also true.”

Ash’s relationship with Honey is strained, and she is often unsure how to interpret his comments. While she loves Honey and knows he loves her in return, they are at a distance for most of the story. It will take losing her best friend for Ash to become vulnerable enough to give her marriage another chance.