We All Want Impossible Things

At Shapely, Ash begins to transcribe a letter that Edi dictates. She’s to leave Dash something to remember her by, and the resulting letter is a rambling mix of good advice, dear memories, funny anecdotes, and incoherent wishes. Ash types everything up, leaving notes to herself about things she’s not sure she wants to keep in the letter. They take a break to watch the local zoo’s live feed, which shows the birth of a baby giraffe that Edi has been waiting to see. Edi rests while Ash has sex with Dr. Soprano. Afterward, Ash wonders if she really understands herself at all.

The next day Edi confronts Ash about her relationship with Dr. Soprano, reprimanding Ash for what she thinks is selfish and destructive behavior:

You attract all these people with terrible boundaries […] And you just kind of hoard them all. But Honey loves you so much. Yeah, he’s not perfect […] but he’s a good person, good company, a great father. He’s funny and handsome and loyal (124).

Ash tells Edi that it’s not quite as simple as that, but she begins to wonder if perhaps Edi is right. She just wanted to be loved, but always felt like she was getting in her own way.