Vera Wong's Unsolicited Advice for Murderers

In Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers, Vera tells Julia that Chinese mothers raise the best children. The novel’s mothers have the most influence in childrearing, as Vera’s husband is deceased, Sana’s father is never mentioned, Alex fails to raise his sons properly, and Marshall is negligent of Emma. Vera’s mothering illustrates Chiaoshun—a parenting style that emphasizes teaching and emotional support. She never praises her son, Tilly, or her young friends too much, acknowledging both their success and room for improvement. This approach might sound discouraging, but the novel suggests that this approach ultimately allows for mistakes in a safe environment. The same logic applies to mothers themselves. Julia struggles to feel like a good mother, as Marshall undermined her while alive and their daughter, Emma, exhibits extreme shyness as a result—which she interprets as evidence of her bad parenting. Vera bridges the gap between Julia and Emma by allowing Emma to feel competent and safe. She makes the girl her cooking assistant and teaches skills appropriate for her age—allowing her to experience success without her father’s hostility. By encouraging independence, Vera also frees Julia to reestablish her identity as both a mother and a creative.