Untamed

Part 1 is a series of vignettes that introduce Doyle’s pursuit of her freedom and empowerment. Doyle’s story begins with her engagement to her future wife Abby. She recalls the morning of Abby’s proposal, which takes places after Abby receives the blessing of Doyle’s parents. Abby shares the details of the conversation with Doyle and describes how, “My mother’s lip quivered with fear and courage as she said, ‘Abby. I have not seen my daughter this alive since she was ten years old’” (4). Doyle meditates on her mother’s statement and asks herself, “Where did my spark go at ten? How had I lost myself?” (4). 

Doyle remarks on the pivotal age of ten in a child’s life and how “ten is where we learn how to be good girls and real boys. Ten is where children begin to hide who they are in order to become what the world expects them to be. Right around ten is where we begin to internalize our formal taming” (4). Doyle recollects the conditioning she personally experienced at the age of ten, which, ultimately, led to her struggles with bulimia. Desiring to be a “good girl,” Doyle expresses how “bulimia was where I exhaled.