36 pages • 1 hour read
Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots
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Pleasing God and Pleasing the Community
In Deborah’s quest for her identity, one of the major obstacles she encounters is the dual pressure of pleasing both God and her Satmar community. Within the community, the pressure to please others is two-fold: first, one must please God by abiding by the strict rules outlined by the community, and second, one must show one’s faithfulness.
Deborah is taught from the outset that to please God she must adhere to the rules of the Satmar community. These rules are specific and different from other Jewish communities. For example, the Satmar community does not support Zionism or Israel, and they believe their Ashkenazi descent makes them superior to Sephardic Jews. Furthermore, within the Satmar community, God is only pleased with the observance of the rituals such as modest dress for women, separation of genders unless married, preference of speaking Yiddish over English, and focus on marriage and childbearing at a young age. Upholding such traditions is crucial to the Satmar way of life and distinguishes this community of believers.
Deborah’s account signals that pleasing fellow members of the Satmar community is equally important as pleasing God. Events such as the annual rabbi’s dance are important places for people to make an appearance. Gossip is a source of concern and being the subject of it is avoided at all costs to the point where one’s health may suffer. Everyone is expected to follow the rigid rules; however, as in the case of child molestation and sexual assault, the community is not willing to prosecute one of its members, leaving it to God instead. Furthermore, taunting outsiders is a form of bonding among children who seek to please each other.
Persistence of Tradition
The persistence of tradition in the Satmar community puzzles Deborah throughout her account. Deborah remarks on several instances where the protection of the traditions is prioritized over justice for those hurt in the community. The sexual assaults in the mikvah and by men in Deborah’s life highlight the problems of the insular community, which does not seek help from the outside world for fear of judgment.
Deborah sees many ironies in the persistence of traditions in her community. For example, while women are expected to use the mikvah to remain pure, she develops a rash from water, most likely due to bacteria. Additionally, one of the reasons that Deborah is drawn to Pride and Prejudice is the ease with which she can draw parallels between her life and 19th-century England, particularly on the subject of finding suitable matches for marriage. Deborah finds more similarities in a novel from 200 years ago than in the contemporary city where her community is located.
The pervasiveness of traditions breaks down for Deborah in her move to Airmont. Now that she is physically outside the Satmar community, she can not only experiment more with her likes and dislikes but also assess these Hasidic traditions from a critical distance. The more she analyzes, the more she realizes that she does not believe what she was taught from a young age. One example is her first experience with non-kosher foods. As she braces herself to feel physically ill upon eating, nothing happens. She realizes she was lied to. Eventually, the pervasiveness of traditions in her community contributes to her desire to leave the Satmar way of life.
Fear of the Unknown
Deborah is unique in her community because she does not fear the unknown. The Satmar community is defined by their traditions, and they largely reject the outside, secular world around them. This is an interesting dichotomy considering that the location of the Satmar community is in the gentrifying Williamsburg neighborhood of Brooklyn. As the neighborhood grows, so does the Satmars’ fear that outsiders will threaten their community’s way of life. Bubby reminds Deborah that she can only trust people in the community after a group of African American boys steals from a neighbor’s house.
One of the most pervasive fears is sexuality. Sexual intercourse is only discussed in the context of marriage; yet, there is still an element of shame attached to it. Deborah has a medical condition that initially makes her unable to have intercourse. The silence surrounding sex and sexual health means that she suffers unnecessarily for years before she receives the correct treatment. Additionally, the story of the boy who is murdered because he was found masturbating reveals how the community finds aspects of sexuality to be shameful and sinful. Sex remains an unknown for adolescents in the community, and the knowledge that is kept from young people causes fear and confusion.
In contrast with her community, Deborah does not fear the unknown. The world is opened to her through reading, and throughout her time in Williamsburg, she continues to take more risks, including sneaking into Manhattan for a day. By the time she marries Eli, she is ready to leave her community. In Airmont, Deborah wants to embrace the world outside of her community, as the unknown is not as fearful as she was made to believe. She ends her final chapter with a proclamation of excitement about the new things she will try in the future.
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