Unmasked: My Life Solving America's Cold Cases

Throughout the narrative, Holes is candid about his struggle to maintain a work-life balance. This struggle is partly a function of the kind of work Holes is doing, but it also stems from his own temperament, and it becomes a key source of friction in his personal life.

From the beginning, Holes does not merely enjoy his work but regards it as a passion and his life’s purpose. Solving crimes—especially cold cases—and bringing closure and justice to families infuse his work with meaning. This factor draws Holes’s attention away from his personal life—including the needs of his partners and children—and proves to be detrimental to his relationships with others. Likewise, Holes becomes accustomed to detaching emotionally in order to carry out his job. This practice becomes habit and makes it more challenging for Holes, already prone to anxiety in social situations, to be emotionally vulnerable and available to his family. Among other things, this means that he has a difficult time explaining his passion to his first wife, Lori, who finds his interest in crime disturbing: Though rooted in empathy, Holes’s passion for his work ironically reads as coldness in his personal life, exacerbating the marital disconnect.