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Allison next explores how she came to be an activist and a feminist. In the aftermath of the sexual abuse, she hated her body. As she grew up, she saw the same self-hatred in other women. For a long time, she struggled with the thought that any desire—but especially the desire she felt for women—was somehow wrong. She felt alienated and lonely.
When her sister Wanda asked her how she knew she was lesbian, Allison refused to say that it was a political choice, even if her feminist peers wanted her to say that. She simply told Wanda that she “‘fell in love with a woman’” (53). A photo of Allison seated before a woman whose torso is bare and whose hands are pressing Allison’s shoulders appears here. Allison’s first relationship ended in disaster, a frequent outcome for Gibson women. Wanda’s response—twisting the ring on her ring finger—shows that she still has that problem.
Allison is accustomed to other women’s discomfort or silence around the issues of sexual desire. Sex and sexual pursuit are simple, though. Allison’s approach to flirtation and sexual pursuit is to be obvious about her desire, and she’s always surprised by how few women can respond in kind.
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