43 pages • 1 hour read
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Children symbolize Nic’s lost childhood. Throughout the memoir, he gravitates towards them and associates them with innocence, safety, and parental care and guidance. He does not blame his father for his unconventional childhood during which he was treated like an adult; in fact, he praises and thanks him for it. However, he recognizes that he missed out on being a child and the feelings of love, safety, and being taken care of that parents provide. In the memoir, Nic sees this in Lucy, Jasper, and Daisy. Lucy, Spencer’s daughter, is a happy and loved little girl who adores Nic. In turn, Nic adores her, and he is happy to take care of her when Spencer is ill. At one point, Nic wishes that he could be taken care of just like Lucy is. In that sense, he still feels very much like a child himself. Nic also deeply loves Jasper and Daisy, his stepbrother and stepsister, and mentions them constantly throughout the memoir. Rather than acting as their big brother and protector, however, Nic wishes to be like them. On one hand, he is happy that they are loved and sheltered and grew up as true children.
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