Tweak: Growing Up On Methamphetamines

Weeks later, Nic is doing well and following his usual routine: riding his bike, working at the salon, and writing. He is especially excited when an editor from Nerve.com writes to tell him that they enjoyed and want to publish his review. They invite him to submit another. Nic also receives an e-mail from Zelda saying that she broke up with her boyfriend and has been thinking about him. Despite all of his apprehension, Nic phones Zelda and sets up a meeting with her. Nic actually shakes from nervousness prior to their reunion. When they meet, Nic tells Zelda that he loves her, and the two dive back into their old relationship. On one hand, Nic feels like his dream is finally coming true, but on the other hand, he feels immense guilt. 

Spencer tries to tactfully talk sense into Nic regarding his toxic relationship with Zelda. He tells Nic that as long as Nic can “separate [him]self from this whole thing and know that it is just a fling” (213) then he should be okay. He realizes that Nic likes Zelda because she’s older and a celebrity. However, Nic counters that his feelings for Zelda are much deeper, forcing Spencer to tell him that he is not seeing things clearly and that “all I see is devastation in your future” (213). Despite his own misgivings and guilt, Nic refuses to see this, though he does promise Spencer that he will not use again. He also struggles with feeling like Zelda’s “arm candy” and “being paraded around” (214), as well as feeling that he is not good enough for Zelda.   

Nic’s relationship with Zelda escalates quickly. He writes that he’s “stayed with her every night for the last month” (216); on some occasions, she even grooms him. Nic believes that this is natural but is troubled by the fact that “the only people it seems to bother is everyone else in my life” (216). Everyone has made it clear that his relationship with Zelda is unstable and a threat to his sobriety. They also point out that he is wholly obsessed with her. Nic resents that everyone is being skeptical and condescending, but on some level, he shares their misgivings. Nevertheless, he is thrilled when Zelda introduces him to her father and stepmother as her new boyfriend. 

Nic spends every night with Zelda while continuing to work at the salon, writing reviews for Nerve.com, and working out. He has been spending less time with Spencer, has stopped babysitting Lucy, and has been going to fewer meetings. In Nic’s mind, Zelda is his top priority. He feels inadequate in comparison to Zelda’s famous ex-boyfriends and is intimidated by her past. Nic is forced to face this when Zelda’s jealous ex-boyfriend storms her house in the middle of the night. Though she turns him away, Zelda admits that a part of her still loves him, terrifying Nic.