Too Bright to See

Too Bright to See is a middle grade novel by American author Kyle Lukoff (2021). It tells the story of Bug, an 11-year-old transgender boy coming to terms with his identity after the death of his uncle. Lukoff, a transgender man, has written several books about young trans people, based in part on his own experiences. In addition to being a coming-of-age story, Too Bright to See is also a ghost story. Bug lives in an old house that he believes is haunted by many spirits, including the ghost of his uncle. Too Bright to See is a Newbery Honoree, a Stonewall Award winner, and a National Book Award finalist.

This guide uses the 2021 Dial Books for Young Readers e-book edition of the novel.

Content Warning: This book and guide contain detailed discussions of grief after losing a close family member to illness. There are also discussions of anti-trans and anti-gay bias. Ultimately, Bug realizes that he is a boy; for that reason, this guide uses he/him pronouns exclusively. However, because Bug only comes out toward the end of the book, other characters refer to him using she/her pronouns, which is reflected in some quotes.

Plot Summary

Bug, who is 11, has grown up in a big house in rural Vermont with his mother Sabrina and his uncle Roderick. His father died in a car crash just after he was born. Bug has so far been raised as a girl. He has not really questioned his identity, though he does feel uncomfortable wearing dresses and does not feel that he fits in. At the beginning of the book, Roderick has just died of an unspecified illness. Bug and his mother host a memorial at their house; Bug’s closest and only friend Mo (short for Moira) attends. Bug and Mo will be starting middle school after the summer holiday.

Sabrina makes a living selling sarcastic condolence cards because she finds most grief-related cards to be trite. While her business used to be successful, revenue is now down and she cannot afford to send Bug to summer camp this year. At night, Bug thinks he sees a shadowy figure in his room. He has always believed that his house is haunted, but he usually just feels vague presences; he has never seen a ghost before.

Mo comes over for a sleepover and gives Bug a makeover; he does not enjoy the experience. Mo tells Bug and his mom that she wants to go by Moira. That night, one of Moira’s bottles of nail polish mysteriously shatters on the rug, and she steps in the shards of glass. Later, Bug has a vivid nightmare that his face is a skull and he is applying makeup to it in a dark void. When he wakes up, his room is a mess; he wonders if he could have been sleepwalking. He does not tell his mother.

Moira invites Bug over. To his surprise, there are several other girls there, too. Bug struggles to connect with them as they talk about boys and shopping.

That night, Bug has another nightmare: This time, he is in a mall surrounded by mannequins that turn into the girls from Moira’s house. Everyone is laughing, and he cannot get away. When he wakes up, there is an illegible note on the floor. His mother denies having written it, and it looks like his uncle’s handwriting.

Bug searches the attic of his house to learn more about former residents, hoping to learn why he is being haunted. He is unsuccessful. Once again, he has a nightmare: He is in a store and has to try on dresses, but all of them are too small for him. In the morning, he opens his sock drawer to find Roderick’s high school yearbook. He realizes that Uncle Roderick’s ghost is haunting him. He spends the day in the creek by his house. He hears his uncle’s voice saying something that sounds like: “I need to tell you” (75). 

Sabrina goes out for dinner with Moira’s mother, her business partner. Bug makes himself dinner and watches cartoons until his uncle’s ghost returns, slamming the doors and switching the TV on and off. Bug is terrified, but the haunting subsides without hurting him. His mom comes home and tells him that she may need to sell the house. The next day, Bug rides his bike to the library to learn more about ghosts. There, he meets a boy named Griffin who has just moved into town. The two connect instantly.

Bug tries to contact Roderick via a Ouija board with Moira’s help, but without success. At home, he tries to contact Roderick again. This time he gets a message telling him to be himself. In search of answers, Bug visits Roderick’s bedroom. There, he finds a box of pamphlets on being transgender. He starts to question his own identity. Bug wonders if Roderick was a transgender woman and never felt ready to say so. When he asks his mom, she thinks that is unlikely. Roderick, who was gay, was always very sure of himself. 

It is August and Bug’s 12th birthday. Moira organizes a surprise party for him. Although he does not always connect with the group of girls, Bug has a good time. He goes to sleep and dreams that his uncle, in his drag queen persona, is about to give him a haircut. When he wakes up, he has a buzz cut and all his hair is on the bathroom floor. Nobody can explain what has happened, and Bug is surprised to find that he loves his new haircut. All of a sudden, everything clicks into place: He understands that he is actually a boy. 

He goes home and tells his mom; she is very supportive. He tells Moira, who feels like Bug will have a much better time in middle school now that he knows who he is. Bug and his mother talk to the school principal to ensure that he will be safe at school. Sabrina tells Bug that she has created a new line of cards for LGBTQ people’s weddings, coming out parties, and more, so she will not have to sell the house. Bug receives a positive reception from his classmates when classes start again.

In an epilogue, Bug has one more dream about Roderick, who says he is proud of Bug for figuring things out. Bug decides to name himself Tommy, as Thomas was his uncle’s middle name.