Too Bright to See

“I’m suddenly, irrationally convinced that my bed is toppling over. Like it’s unbalanced, perched precariously on the top of a mountain and about to come crashing down. Or like it’s teetering on the other side.”

Bug feels this way when he realizes his uncle has died. The feeling of being on the precipice of a mountain foreshadows the upcoming changes in his life and how his identity as he assumed it is about to come “crashing down.” Roderick’s death and subsequent haunting of Bug are the catalyst for Bug’s journey.

“I feel grounded now. Not in free fall, not hurtling through space. But there’s an empty room inside my chest.”

Bug uses a metaphor, where something is compared to something else without using “like” or “as,” to convey his sense of grief—“there’s an empty room inside my chest.” This reflects the space that Roderick has left behind. It also evokes the house where he has grown up, which is now emptier.

“Just a face that isn’t quite mine. Almost mine. But different enough that it gives me a shock every time.”

Sometimes, Bug looks at himself in the mirror and does not recognize his reflection. This foreshadows his realization about his transgender identity. 

There are no villainous characters in the novel. Everyone—from Bug’s mother to the school principal to the older girls who are friends with Moira—is not only accepting but embracing of him. The antagonist is not a concrete person, but Bug’s internal conflict about his gender identity—the girl he sees when he looks in the mirror but does not identify with.