This Is Going to Hurt: Secret Diaries of a Junior Doctor

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of illness and death, suicidal ideation and self-harm, and pregnancy loss.

This is Going to Hurt sheds light on the personal toll that working in the NHS takes on its staff—this is a reality that is often hidden from public view. Throughout his memoir, Kay details the strain that his role as a junior doctor puts on his relationships, physical well-being, and mental health. He argues that these challenges arise not only from the demands of the job but also from the structural flaws of the United Kingdom’s healthcare system.

Kay’s diary entries consistently describe long, grueling hours that leave him exhausted, sleep-deprived, and with little time or energy for a personal life. The effect on his body and mind is captured in the statement, “I’ve not sat down for twelve hours, let alone rested my eyes, my dinner’s sitting uneaten in my locker and I’ve just called a midwife ‘Mum’ by accident” (248). This is Going to Hurt charts the gradual erosion of his romantic relationship as he rarely sees H, despite living with them, and repeatedly cancels date nights.