Thick: And Other Essays

As a child, McMillan Cottom dreams of being competent. She doesn’t dream about a husband, or a wedding, or babies but she fantasizes about the sound of high heels clicking on the floor as she walks purposefully with a briefcase, embodying competence. She reflects on this desire for competence from a freezing house in Virginia because she has forgotten to pay her bill. She uses this moment to reflect on the reality that for the first time in her life, she can afford all of the lifestyle perks of a middle-class person. Neoliberal capitalism celebrates competence and productivity, shifting the critique from structural questions to one of individual hard work and competence. She points to LinkedIn as an exemplar of the promises that technology fails to meet. People have increasing anxiety about their job security because of the increasing deregulations of neoliberalism and the precarization of work, and LinkedIn’s promises of endorsements and networking are an inadequate balm to this anxiety.

The desire to be competent is complicated by the ways that global capitalism and inequality make people structurally incompetent. McMillan Cottom felt the most incompetent when she was pregnant. At four months pregnant, McMillan Cottom starts to bleed. She finishes her work, and then goes to the hospital.