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“We both looked at the tray. We couldn’t decide if it was better to have the tray be half empty with only Chinese candy or full with Chinese and American candy.”
Pacy solves the problem of not having enough Chinese candy by adding M&Ms, but she and her sister are uncertain if this approach will be acceptable. This moment also mirrors Pacy’s feelings about her own identity. She is often torn between which side of herself to express and is constantly aware of how she identifies. The Chinese New Year tray and the candy are representative of the idea of acculturation, promoting the act of embracing both parts of her identity equally. However, her indecision in this moment shows that this balance is not always easy for Pacy to accomplish.
“Traditionally […] you are supposed to stay up as late as you can on Chinese New Year. The longer you stay awake, the longer your parents’ lives will be. So I should try to keep you up all night! But tomorrow is school, so everyone goes to sleep.”
Pacy’s mom explains traditions of the holiday, showing her desire to pass down her Taiwanese customs to her children. However, she does not expect them to abide by the customs this evening because it is a school night. Living in a place where few others celebrate Chinese New Year, Pacy’s mom recognizes that it will be challenging for her daughters to follow all the family’s customs, but she makes sure that her girls still know what they are, empowering them to pass on these traditions to their own children someday.
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By Grace Lin