The War That Saved My Life

“I understood. In all my life I’d never hurt Jamie. I’d never hit him, not once. Now I’d become like Mam.” 

When Ada ties up Jamie, her intention is to keep him from leaving her alone in the apartment. She realizes that by tying him up, she’s trapping him just like Mam traps her day after day. She’s remorseful for treating him this way and decides to learn to walk in order to stay close to him. These first literal and metaphorical steps signal her development as a character.

“Up. Grab the chair. Steady myself. Step forward. Fall down. Up. Try again.” 

The author establishes foundations for the theme of persistence early in the novel. Ada keeps trying to walk, despite continuously falling and hurting herself. She demonstrates the same persistence when teaching herself how to ride Butter.

“When things got really bad I could go away inside my head. I’d always been able to do it. I could be anywhere, on my chair or in the cabinet, and I wouldn’t be able to see anything or hear anything or even feel anything. I would just be gone.” 

Ada’s early form of escape is mental. She can shut out what’s happening to her. She relies on escaping into her own mind less frequently as the novel progresses, but she still resorts to that form of mental escape during especially anxious times. Interestingly, her escape into her head opposes her fear of physical confinement. As she becomes more physically free, so she becomes mentally free.