The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*CK: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

This chapter includes four subchapters: “Rejection Makes Your Life Better,” “Boundaries,” “How to Build Trust,” and “Freedom Through Commitment.” Manson opens by noting that as a young man in his twenties, he decided to travel the world. He spent nearly five years jumping from one country to the next. His social life mimicked the footloose lifestyle he was living. He had many sexual liaisons that never turned into fully committed relationships, something he attributed to a fear of commitment that carried over from his childhood. All told, Manson visited 55 countries, and while the experience had a lasting impact on his life, he realized that it left him feeling unfulfilled. After Manson returned to the US, he soon began to realize the apparently contradictory lesson that freedom was inherently tied to commitment. Manson began to believe that a true sense of liberation requires narrowing one’s focus so that there are fewer alternatives.

Manson then examines the tendency of what he calls the “positivity/consumer culture” (170) to avoid rejection in all forms. Manson believes that the avoiding rejection at all costs, both in giving and in receiving it, leads to negative outcomes simply because rejection is a fact of life. Avoiding it, just like his own avoidance of commitment, doesn’t address the fear of it.