The Soulmate Equation

“The weight of his full attention felt like a physical pressure on her chest, pushing the air out of her lungs.”

During Jess’s first interaction with Dr. River Peña, she experiences an intense reaction despite her distaste for him. Their brief exchange defines their early dynamic as fraught with tension. Jess responds to River’s curtness with both immense displeasure and physical sensitivity, as he literally takes her breath away. Although Jess is averse to the man’s demeanor, she can’t ignore her strong feelings around him.

“Jess leaned back in her chair, admittedly—and unexpectedly—impressed.”

Because Jess is so dismissive towards River, she doesn’t expect to find herself impressed by GeneticAlly and his DNADuo matchmaking service. Her intense animosity is temporarily halted by the fact that his technology could help her find true love. This moment of reverence indicates that her negative attitude towards River has the potential to change.

“Because I want to be a good mom, she thought. I want to be present for Juno, even if some days I feel like I’m failing.”

Jess struggles to navigate life as a young single mother, especially with a busy career. This quote shows that her insecurities sometimes get the best of her and make her feel as if she isn’t doing everything she can for her daughter. However, it ultimately shows that she strives to do better, even when overwhelmed—that her role as a mother is important to her identity.

“Clearly their statistics were garbage and they were all delusional.”

When GeneticAlly’s executive team informs Jess that she and River scored a 98 on the compatibility scale (a Diamond Match), she refuses to believe the information is correct. In this moment, her strong dislike for River dominates her thinking, despite her strong physical reaction to him. She would rather assume DNADuo’s data—which had previously impressed her—is wrong than accept any compatibility between her and River.

“I bet he’s good at everything he sets his mind to. What if, just for one minute, I let myself imagine that this is real? What then?”

In the same moment that Jess voices her disinterest in exploring her alleged compatibility with River, her thoughts betray her. She briefly wonders what the data being correct would mean for her—and a fantasy of her and River flashes in her mind. Although she quickly dismisses the thought, its jarring appearance shows that her negative attitude towards River is wavering (adding a mental element to her physical reactions).

“Honestly, her mind was reeling. She’d never conceived of a situation like this. Was she physically attracted to him? Yes. Obviously yes. But so much of him felt inaccessible and deeply aggravating.”

When David Morris (CEO and head of research), Brandon Butkis (head of marketing), and River offer to pay Jess $30,000 to date River for 3 months, she knows she has to weigh her options carefully. She has little tolerance for River’s personality, despite his good looks, and is uncertain she wants to get to know him better. However, the money will help not only her, but her grandparents and Juno—which she deems more important than anything else.

“Did every mom feel like this? Jess worked too much or didn’t work enough. She was spoiling Juno or Juno wasn’t getting everything she needed. Jess was a helicopter mom, or she was ignoring her kid. More often than not Jess was convinced that every decision she made was ruining Juno’s childhood in some way.”

Jess continues to feel insecure about her parenting. She constantly worries that she’s failing as a mother and making all the wrong decisions. While Jess struggles with several insecurities, she displays the least confidence in her parenting. The prospect of receiving more money via GeneticAlly’s offer might provide financial comfort, but it’s not enough to assuage her fear of being an incompetent mother.

“Even if she was starting to feel like River Peña might not be the worst man alive.”

While River draws Jess’s blood for a second round of tests, their dynamic shows signs of changing. As they joke around and get to know each other, Jess feels her defenses weakening. River’s personality is growing on her, and the physical sensations she experiences around him are becoming impossible to ignore. Although she’s still uncertain as to what she’s getting into it, her strong distaste for River is clearly diminishing—perhaps supported by their being in a lab, a place of numbers and statistics that they can both relate to.

“Did it make her a terrible person that she was surprised this date wasn’t awful? The conversation flowed, the silences were easy. She hadn’t spilled anything down her shirt, and he’d called her competent. It was the best date she’d had in seven years.” 

On Jess’s first date with River, she’s surprised to find herself having a good time. Despite the decline of her negative feelings, Jess did not expect to enjoy River’s company so much. This quote makes her inner conflict apparent: She doesn’t want to like River, but he’s making it difficult for her. Their date is an important step in their opening up to each other, and its success shows that their Diamond Match may very well be authentic.

“For just a tiny beat, she wielded the power of the entire universe. Jess had turned on the formidable River Peña.”

Jess struggles with self-doubt in all aspects of her life. However, when she arouses River during the San Diego Union-Tribune photoshoot by pressing against him, she experiences a brief moment of power. She has a sense of total control over the situation, and it gives her an unfamiliar feeling of self-confidence—an early step in her journey towards self-fulfillment.

“River was smiling…at people? A healthy flush to his cheeks, a tiny yet unmistakable upturn to his mouth.”

When River enters Twiggs after his photoshoot with Jess makes the front page of the paper, there is a noticeable change in his demeanor. It’s clear that he and Jess are starting to feel differently about their chemistry. Jess knows she’s making a positive impression on him, as he’s literally wearing it on his face.

“Of course River wasn’t a callous, gruff asshole. He was shy. Having to do this part of the job was probably miserable for him. Jess felt this as clearly as if she’d just read it on a pamphlet entitled Instructions to Your Soulmate.”

As Jess and River head to their first cocktail party together, she comes to the realization that she’s misread his character. She’d long mistaken his shyness for meanness—and often treated him accordingly. However, Jess now sees River in a new light. This revelation not only shows her that he may be a kinder person than she initially thought, but it gives her the strength to be bolder and more confident on his behalf. She can take charge of the situation in the face of River’s timidity.

“It was probably only a few seconds, but the kiss shifted the trajectory of them, immediately. She wanted more, and she could see in his eyes that he did too. Jess didn’t question for a single second that the physical attraction was mutual.”

Everything changes for Jess and River when they passionately kiss for the first time at the Grubers’ cocktail party. Jess feels the shift as it happens—it becoming crystal clear that both she and River possess a powerful physical attraction to each other. Although Jess had questioned the authenticity of their relationship because of the financial benefits involved, she now knows that their chemistry is real.

“Pride warmed her from the inside out. Juno was an amazing kid, proof that Jess was a good mom—most of the time. It hadn’t been easy, but they were doing it.”

At Scripps Mercy Hospital, when River compliments Jess’s parenting skills, Jess finally receives reassurance that she’s a good mother to Juno. As River points out, Juno’s solid character is a testament to Jess’s competence. Since Jess often struggles with her parenting style, River’s praise provides her with much-needed validation. The fact that the compliment comes from River—whom Jess and Juno now hold in high regard—makes it even more gratifying.

“River was kind, and thoughtful, and vulnerable. He was brilliant and quietly funny. He was everything she ever wanted in a partner, even if she didn’t realize it until he was standing right here, telling her that it was all up to them to try, or not.”

While Nana Jo recovers in the hospital, Jess realizes that River is the partner she’s always wanted. Although it took her a while, she has come to appreciate his personality and everything he does for her and her family. However, she doesn’t feel ready to fully commit because she wants to protect herself and more importantly, Juno, from potentially getting hurt.

“She marveled at this man who, a month ago, she’d known only as ‘Americano,’ as surly and quiet and selfish. This shy, brilliant man kneeling in front of her who showed up without having to be asked, who put the ball in her court, who asked her if she was sure and told her they could stop. She felt her control slipping out of her grip, and the two syllables of his name tattooed a permanent echo inside of her.”

When Jess and River finally physically consummate their love, the former loses herself in the moment. Her sense of control slips away as she views the man whom she once despised with reverence. This quote demonstrates how the couple’s attraction has transformed their feelings and brought them closer together than either ever thought possible. Like a tattoo, River has become a permanent part of Jess.

“And right now, contentment flowed, warm and honeyed, through her.”

On the way home from dinner with River and his sisters, Jess feels genuinely happy. For the first time, everything in her life seems to be falling into place. She’s gained confidence as a granddaughter, mother, friend, and partner—and everyone important to her seems equally content. She also has financial security for the time being, which contributes to her stability. Jess’s relationship with River played an essential role in this newfound peace, and it makes her love for him grow stronger.

“She was numb as she bent and stowed her laptop. She put her phone away. And then she sat quietly. Waiting for Aneesha to come for her, Jess had no idea how she was going to get through the interview, knowing what she knew.”

Jess is forced to quickly process the fact that her and River’s DNADuo tests were altered. This new information indicates that her relationship with River is based on a lie. She feels numb, stunned by GeneticAlly (and potentially, River himself) playing her for a fool. With an interview ahead of her, Jess has to put her feelings of betrayal and disbelief aside and act as if nothing is wrong.

“And for the first time it occurred to her—how was it only occurring to her now—that although Jess trusted the magic in statistical anomaly, River might look at their doctored score and see that they were never meant to be.”

Jess is slow to realize that River may not react to their fraudulent match as she did. She knows she is in love with him, regardless of the odds, but River may reject her without numerical proof that they’re a Diamond Match. She exists in a state of anxiety, uncertain if their love is real or sustainable.

“She tried to pull him closer, but he was as tight as a lock; nowhere in his present demeanor was her deliberate, focused boyfriend.”

Jess’s love for River is still evident, but she can tell he’s pulling away. The more she tries to convince him that their love is real—and doesn’t need numerical data to prove it—the more he shuts down. In the process, she makes herself vulnerable and proves how genuine her feelings are—and calls into question River’s own.

“She pulled into the apartment complex that made her own look like a palace and parked in the first empty spot she found. ‘Don’t pay me back,’ Jess said flatly. ‘I’m giving this to you. But after I do, I don’t want you to call me anymore, and I don’t want you to come by.’”

Jess finally puts her foot down with her mother, Jamie, and ends their relationship—which has been nothing but tumultuous. She is tired of constantly being embarrassed, disappointed, and used for money. Jamie isn’t going to change, and Jess has had enough. This is an important decision because it rids Jess of a toxic relationship—and now, she can turn her full attention to her daughter and grandparents.

“Jess had never had this before: someone who was, without question, hers. She held him with her arms banded around his waist and legs draped lazily around his thighs, wordlessly falling back in love.”

After Jess and River make up (after the latter’s eight days of silence), she realizes he plays a unique, unfamiliar role in her life. In a sense, he belongs to her and her alone. Jess feels she has possession over him—which is physically symbolized by her body draped over his. The ease with which the couple falls back into their old rhythm proves their feelings are strong enough to surmount life’s challenges.

“It wasn’t too far in the rearview mirror when a night like this would have stoked the embers of loneliness and been followed by days of smoldering in her own insistence that Single Was Better. But tonight, she felt the contented heart of a very sturdy family.”

At Juno’s art-science fair with her family, Fizzy, and River, Jess is briefly reminded of how she once felt at school events. She used to live in a persistent state of loneliness, wrestling insecurities and the fear that pursuing romance might jeopardize her relationship with her daughter. But over the past months, Jess’s relationship with River helped cure her loneliness and make her life feel complete. Now, she is surrounded by more love than she ever thought possible.