58 pages • 1 hour read
The Schwa Was Here
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Themes
Building a Sense of Self
In The Schwa Was Here, Neal Shusterman shows how one’s sense of self is influenced by many different factors, from social and cultural elements such as language, ethnicity, place, and religion, to positive and negative self-assessments that affect one’s life choices. Over the course of the novel, Antsy, the Schwa, Antsy’s parents, and Mr. Crawley each gain self-knowledge and awareness that allows them to lead fuller lives, take chances, and be more comfortable in their skin.
At the start of the novel, Antsy defines himself by his Italian heritage (including its food), Brooklyn roots, dialect, family status, social class, bad grades, and Catholic upbringing. All these characteristics ground Antsy’s social identity. He recognizes and embraces each of these elements with varying degrees of pride and self-deprecating humor. Antsy originally declares that he is nothing special, especially in his neighborhood, “just your run-of-the-mill eighth-grade wiseass, which might get me somewhere in, like, Iowa, but Brooklyn is wiseass central” (26). For all his all his smart-mouthed comments, however, Antsy is deeply introspective. He knows who he is, and, as the novel progresses, recognizes changes in himself and his values. Antsy begins to come of age. Antsy realizes that he has emotionally outgrown his old friends, Howie and Ira, and that his parents confide in him more, treating him more like an adult, “actually a responsible human being” (112). Antsy builds his identity, solidifying his values and beliefs through his choices and actions. Antsy evaluates his emotions and motivations, knowing when he is being selfish about Lexie and feeling guilty for not always being the best friend. Antsy learns adult lessons and becomes more conscious of the world outside himself, as in his discovery that his parents are fallible, though they are “supposed to know the answers” or fake it (109), and how other families, like the Schwa’s, have different, more troubled dynamics.
These changes in Antsy’s sense of self are reflected in his name. Antsy originally disliked his childhood nickname, but he accepted it with resignation. By the end of the novel, Antsy has outgrown his nickname. His parents, Lexie, and Mr. Crawley call him Anthony, showing their increasing respect for him and revealing Anthony’s growing maturity. By the end of the novel, Antsy learns that the world does not have to revolve around himself, and he is comfortable being anonymous, recognizing that “going unnoticed sometimes meant you were trusted to do the right thing” (203). Antsy is secure in his identity.
The Schwa lacks social identity. He is plain pasta to Antsy’s Fettuccine Bonano and sweet cream ice cream to Antsy’s Italian gelato. The Schwa does not have the social and cultural foundation that characterizes Antsy’s sense of self. He is new to Brooklyn, comes from a single-parent family, and lives with his father, who has suffered a brain injury. Even the Schwa’s cultural heritage is abbreviated, revealed in his shortened last name. The Schwa is overlooked in school. The Schwa, however, lacks Antsy’s introspection. Even Lexie “can’t get a clear impression” of who he is from his face (89). The Schwa’s sense of self is connected to what he believes is his invisibility in the world, which is rooted in his mother’s abandonment. Even his paperclip collection was founded on the clip from his mother’s missing person’s report.
The Schwa, although he fears disappearing, does not attempt to build his identity through his actions and connections with others as Antsy does. As Mr. Crawley observes, “Well, I believe we make our own miracles […] I also believe we make our own disasters. If your friend is disappearing, as you say, then he’s doing it to himself” (165). Like Mr. Crawley, the Schwa hides from life. He tells Antsy and Lexie that he wants to stay on the bridge, “close my eyes, and disappear” (195). The truth about his mother—the Schwa’s “radiation therapy”—is life-altering, resulting in an outpouring of emotion and self-revelation: His mom’s disappearance was not his fault. The foundation of the Schwa’s identity shifts, freeing him to redefine himself. Antsy recognizes this change, and “welcomes” the Schwa “to the visible world” (201).
Finally, Shusterman shows that identity-building is a lifelong process. Antsy’s mom, realizing that she is no longer fulfilled by her role in the kitchen, makes “a place in her own life” by starting cooking classes. She is still doing something she loves, but she branches out, takes a risk, and expands her sense of self (160). Antsy’s dad does the same. His identity as breadwinner was long tied to his position at Pisher Plastics while his love of cooking was suppressed. Being fired is initially a blow to his sense of self, but it allows him to become Crawley’s partner, do something he loves, fulfill a dream, and change how he thinks of himself. Mr. Crawley, like the Schwa, retreats from living a full, social life. When Antsy and Lexie kidnap him for the helicopter ride, he removes both his literal and figurative blindfold and recognizes what he has been missing. This recognition changes his sense of self and makes him want to further engage in the outside world.
Aristotle wrote that “[k]nowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” In the novel, Antsy and others discover new truths about themselves and learn and grow from them.
Being “Seen” and the Perceptions of Others
While social and cultural influences and self-awareness are a vital part of identity building, Shusterman also illustrates how the perceptions of others influence how characters feel about themselves. Being truly seen and known as an individual is vital to self-concept. Shusterman explores how the Schwa’s “invisibility” and Antsy’s inconspicuousness negatively affect their self-perception. In contrast, Lexie’s physical inability to see gives her a different perspective than that of sighted people—with both positive and negative results.
Mr. Crawley notes that “[t]here’s a difference between being invisible and being unseen” (154). Mr. Crawley knows that he is visible but unseen; while people may not see him, they do think about him. The Schwa feels invisible, as if people physically cannot see him, while Antsy feels “semivisible” or unnoticed. Both boys feel insignificant in different ways, and Mr. Crawley fears insignificance as he ages.
Antsy feels that he is the victim of “middle-finger syndrome”: He is overlooked and ignored by his family and enjoys the attention he receives by managing the Schwa and by his association with the neighborhood bogeyman, Mr. Crawley (26). Antsy has accepted a nonconfrontational, backseat role in his family even though it makes him unhappy. When Antsy rejects his job as family peacemaker, he feels empowered, saying, “There was awesome power in being the center of fury” (107). Antsy asserts himself and tells the truth, earning his parents’ respect, establishing his presence in the family, and becoming more visible to them.
The Schwa’s feeling of invisibility stems from his childhood fear of disappearing like his mother, and the guilty belief that in momentarily forgetting her, he made her vanish. This sense of being invisible also suggests that he shares a similar mental health issue with his mother. The only reason she did not take her life was because she thought “no one would notice that she was gone” (199). The Schwa also feels detached from himself. In comparing himself to the tree that falls in the forest, the Schwa comments that “if nothing and no one remembers you, then you were never really there” (150). Feelings of social invisibility can be symptoms of depression. His mother’s abandonment is a traumatic rejection that is reinforced daily by his father’s forgetfulness caused by his brain injury. Both contribute to the Schwa’s feelings of insignificance. Abandonment, physical and emotional, is the negation of existence and the root of the Schwa’s invisibility issue. He feels that no one sees him for the person he is.
While the Schwa tries to be visible—attempting to become a “legend” with his invisibility dares and his billboard—he does not work to change others’ perception of him. He prefers to remain in the background rather than asserting his presence. Even his physical appearance matches his sense of self: colorless and nondescript. Other people reinforce the Schwa’s invisibility by ignoring and excluding him. Howie and Ira know the Schwa is with them when they play video games but choose to ignore him. The Schwa’s acceptance of this treatment reveals his lack of self-confidence. Antsy comments that the Schwa “was used to being treated like he wasn’t there” (77). Even Antsy feels guilty for treating the Schwa like an object—calling him “Schwa” instead of Calvin and using him for the Schwa Effect tests—rather than an individual. Continued social rejection reinforces the Schwa’s feelings of isolation.
Antsy observes that the Schwa is “on the cusp of being there and not being there,” which is “why he clung so tightly to Lexie and me” (91). Antsy and Lexie are the two people who see the Schwa as himself and validate him as a person. Lexie, who has no preconceptions about the Schwa’s personality or his backstory, truly “sees” him as an individual. She touches him and “sees” him through that touch, but, more powerfully, recognizes his individuality. The Schwa declares that being visually noticed is less important than being “felt.” Antsy understands that being felt “means a lot of things,” most importantly, “having your presence felt” (112). In helping the Schwa connect to the real world, Lexie and Antsy help him connect to himself. When the Schwa reunites with his mother, Antsy notices that in the photograph the Schwa has a slight tan and a big smile: Being seen and accepted gives him color and genuine emotion, signifying he has joined the real world.
Lexie, though without physical sight, has self-confidence and acute awareness of her physical surroundings. Her perception of others differs from that of sighted people. She suggests that sighted people are handicapped in a different way: with an inability to use all one’s senses, including intuition. She ironically employs visual imagery to make her point, saying, “I swear […] you sighted people don’t see anything unless it’s staring you in the face” (124). Lexie’s unique perception helps both Antsy and the Schwa learn about themselves and the nature of friendship.
Antsy comments variously how “this blind girl could see through anything”—including his lie that he was not being paid to date her (85). Lexie’s physical touch is “her way of looking [people] in the eye” (195). Antsy discovers, however, that what Lexie cannot “see” is how others may be affected by her actions. Her emotional awareness and experience are lacking: She is “not nearly as insightful as she thinks she is” (126). While Lexie makes the Schwa feel uniquely seen, she is figuratively blind to his feelings about her and blind to the typical dynamics of romantic relationships. Shusterman uses the concepts of invisibility and blindness to illustrate how important it is to be seen as a unique, valuable individual.
The Role of Family Dynamics
Family dynamics play a large role in forming the Schwa’s, Antsy’s, and Lexie’s characters. The way each family offers security, support, and stressors provides a different foundation for the characters’ growth and the development of their identities. At the same time, all three characters make independent choices about their lives. Shusterman shows how family creates the foundation for becoming your own person.
Antsy’s family is physically and verbally expressive, yet his parents bicker rather than authentically communicate. They often show their love through food and sarcasm, rather than through direct expression. As Antsy asserts himself in the family dynamic, he learns more about the complexity of adult relationships and the need for individual self-fulfillment, issues that he did not recognize before, and that he fears threaten his family foundation. He bursts into tears when he thinks Dad and Mom are getting a divorce. Antsy, though discontented with his position in the family, deeply values its stability and support. Mom convinces Antsy that she too values their familial bond and would never “throw it away” (161). The Bonano family has “good bone structure” as Lexie would say (86), a solid foundation, and the love to move through problems. Though it is difficult, Antsy’s family accepts change and moves forward in a new, stronger direction. Dad and Mom incorporate their fresh outlooks on life and self, and they work together to realize Mr. Crawley’s new restaurant.
Antsy tells Lexie that “we all get our raw materials from our families—but it’s up to us whether we build bridges or bombs” (129). Antsy’s upbringing provides him with a sense of honor, a strong moral code (he is both proud of and frustrated by his conscience), and a quality of introspection. Antsy uses these values to do what he believes is right: build bridges. He befriends the Schwa, helping him discover the truth about his mother’s disappearance, and he befriends Mr. Crawley, helping the old man rejoin the world.
Antsy recognizes exactly how important his family is to him when he sees the dysfunction in the Schwa’s family. He thinks, “seeing the Schwa’s sorry home life made me more tuned in to my own” (104). Aghast, Antsy wonders, “What was it that made a mother disappear between the lines of her shopping list? And what made a father remove every trace of her from the house?” (159). The Schwa tells Antsy that his mom “wanted [him] noticed” as he started kindergarten, but her rejection has the opposite effect (149).
Having an absent mother can negatively affect childhood development. Children may have attachment issues, a fear of abandonment, or difficulty trusting others. Abandonment affects children’s self-esteem and may cause them to withdraw from others or have trouble connecting with others. The Schwa shows several of these effects. The Schwa fears becoming like his absent mother, and he fears others will stop seeing him in a kind of abandonment. The Schwa is also socially withdrawn: He has no social group or friends until he meets Antsy and Lexie. Mr. Schwa’s father is emotionally absent from his son’s life. His head injury reverses the parent-child relationship, leaving the Schwa without adult support.
Lexie observes that trauma “changes you, but it doesn’t always change you for the better” (98), which is true in the Schwa’s case. The Schwa’s traumatic childhood and family life damage his sense of self. His home life lacks security, stability, and emotional support. Unlike Antsy’s family, the Schwa’s family life does not change, but the Schwa does. With Antsy’s “directed trauma” of exposing the Schwa to the truth about his mother, the Schwa takes control of his life. He is no longer passive, or invisible. Instead, the Schwa chooses to reject his father and find his mother. The Schwa breaks family ties to forge new ones, much like his mother did. The Schwa builds both a bomb, and a bridge, with the raw materials inherited from his family.
Lexie also reveals that although she is a product of her family, she chooses her own path. Born into wealth, her family represents the highest social class of the three friends. Her parents do not want her to stay with Mr. Crawley while they vacation in Europe, but Lexie chooses to stay out of love for the older man. She wants to get him out of his shell and wants to help him live more fully. Antsy notices that Lexie has many of her grandfather’s personality traits: She is assertive, confident, and even manipulative. Lexie primarily uses these qualities with good intentions as she advocates for the blind, helps Mr. Crawley, and ultimately becomes a good friend to Calvin and Antsy. Lexie uses her family foundation, its financial security, and inherited traits to follow her own path and build bridges.
The Nature of Friendship
Friendship is major theme in The Schwa Was Here. As Antsy learns more about himself, he also learns more about the nature of friendship, from its changes to its responsibilities. Most importantly, he realizes that being a true friend requires honesty. Antsy proves that he is a friend to the Schwa. Although their friendship encounters obstacles, Antsy’s empathy and honesty win him the friendship not only of the Schwa but also of Lexie and Mr. Crawley.
Antsy realizes he has matured beyond old friends Howie and Ira when he accepts a new person into his circle of friends, but they cannot. Antsy also recognizes that he is also facing more adult issues that are outside of Howie’s and Ira’s experience. Antsy wishes he could talk to Howie and Ira, for example, about the Schwa’s fear of becoming like his mother but realizes that “[i]t was like Howie and Ira were now on the other side of thick soundproof glass” (80). Antsy is maturing and changing while Howie and Ira remain the same. When Howie and Ira challenge Antsy to choose between them and the Schwa, Antsy chooses his new friend. Antsy’s friendship with the Schwa helps him be honest with himself, examine his own values, and assess what friendship means to him.
Antsy berates himself for not always being a good enough friend. He has selfish moments, like wanting Lexie for himself, and wishing the Schwa would disappear for real and stay out of their relationship. He recognizes that he is not always a good listener, admitting he should have been “that kind of friend” that listens to and counsels the Schwa out of his secret visibility plan (175). Despite what he sees as his failings as a friend, Antsy recognizes his missteps, feels guilty about them, and tries to rectify them.
Being the Schwa’s best friend is hard. Sometimes Antsy feels that the Schwa’s dependency on him to be “the yardstick by which he measured his invisibility” (192) is both a frustration and a burden, yet Antsy is loyal to his friend. He empathizes with the Schwa’s feelings and stops seeing Lexie, realizing it “would never be right if I did this at the Schwa’s expense” (141). Putting Schwa graffiti all over Brooklyn is a “noble” cause and Antsy’s way of making amends, showing his friend he cares, and ensuring the Schwa’s visibility.
Antsy is also irritated when the Schwa seems to doubt his friendship, suggesting that Antsy, like others, will eventually stop seeing him. Antsy protests, saying, “I hear you! “I’m in the forest!” (190). When the Schwa decides to “quit” Antsy out of pique, Antsy continues to act as the Schwa’s friend—searching for information about the Schwa’s mother to prove his visibility and give Schwa closure. Antsy exhibits the concern, care, and support that are hallmarks of a good friend.
Mr. Crawley solidifies Antsy’s understanding of friendship by acting as devil’s advocate. Mr. Crawley tells Antsy to drop the Schwa, advising to “Cut him loose. Forget about him,” and declaring that “Friends can be replaced” (165). Antsy’s horror at this advice reveals his belief that friendship is about loyalty and individual connection. People—and pets—are unique and valuable. Antsy also shows this big heartedness and open mindedness in his friendship with Mr. Crawley, admitting that “the nasty old guy was growing on me” (60). Antsy can envision how Mr. Crawley, as a kid, may have had trouble making friends, which ultimately led to his reclusiveness. Antsy’s friendship bridges generation gaps, social gaps, and personality differences.
Through his friendship with the Schwa, Lexie, and Mr. Crawley, Antsy learns the importance of honesty in a friendship. Honesty fosters trust, helps solve problems, and helps friends grow. Antsy sees how Lexie’s dishonesty in her desire to essentially date both boys and enjoy “a little bit of both of [them]” causes jealousy and bad feelings, breaks trust, and threatens their friendships (139). Lexie regains both Antsy’s and the Schwa’s friendship when she is honest with them. She assures the Schwa that “Antsy is not your only friend. And you have never once slipped my mind” (195).
Antsy wrestles with letting the Schwa know the truth about his mother. He understands that his friend “wanted to know the truth more than anything else in his life” but feels like a “moron” when he sees how the truth hurts the Schwa (205). Antsy recognizes, however, that the Schwa “needed to hear” the truth (211). Antsy’s honesty in their friendship helps liberate the Schwa from his self-imposed invisibility. The truth is painful but leads to the Schwa’s personal growth.
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By Neal Shusterman
