106 pages • 3 hours read
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“So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.”
Charlie is explaining one of the major themes that keeps surfacing in his life, this idea of feeling simultaneously happy and sad. Throughout the novel, Charlie struggles with these mixed emotions and not knowing how he feels or how he “should” feel. This also emphasizes the polarity of Charlie’s personality.
“One thing I do know is that it makes me wonder if I have ‘problems at home’ but it seems to me that a lot of other people have it a lot worse.”
Charlie’s friend Michael commits suicide at the start of the novel. While no one knows why, the school counselor suggests that maybe Michael had problems at home. Charlie wonders what this could mean, and how it could make someone take their own life. This idea also makes Charlie question his own home life and the possibility that one could unknowingly not be okay.
“I have finished To Kill a Mockingbird. It is now my favorite book of all time, but then again, I always think that until I read another book.”
Bill, Charlie’s English teacher, continually gives him extracurricular books to read and write essays about. Each book Charlie reads becomes his favorite and helps him discover or understand a part of himself. This illustrates how impressionable Charlies is, as he immediately identifies with whatever is before him. Like victims of abuse, Charlie opts to blend in and accept what is before him as opposed to standing out.
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