57 pages • 1 hour read
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“‘I guess they must want diversity,’ Mackenzie said after the director left, using air quotes for diversity even though it was the literal word she meant.”
Lyssa uses humor to deal with the covert racism that she faces, commenting on how Mackenzie incorrectly uses air quotes to discuss the director choosing Lyssa for the music video. In her jealousy, Mackenzie assumes that Lyssa was chosen simply because of her skin color. Ironically, Mackenzie is unable to identify the unfairness of Lyssa being excluded from participating in children’s parties because of her skin color, yet she is quick to point out the unfairness of her own perceived discrimination.
“Lyssa saw her opening. She had been here all her life.”
Although “here” refers to the city in which they live, it also refers to how Lyssa has lived her life by making decisions to better herself—even when those decisions are morally questionable. As a Black woman, she is used to facing discrimination and taking every opportunity she can to level the playing field. In this instance, sex with the music video director is one such opportunity.
“Lyssa couldn’t remember walking around without suspecting that something inside of her wanted her dead. What future had there ever been but the imaginary?”
Despite her doctor’s insistence on protecting her “real” future—her life—rather than her “imaginary” one—the possibility of children—Lyssa is adamant that the possibility of cancer is just as imaginary as the chance of her having children. Her feeling that all futures are uncertain is emphasized by her hypothetical question here.
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