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Julien’s mother continues her narration as he drives her to the nursing home: “My son tightens his hold on my hand. It is a reminder that he understands the pain of leaving a home that has been my sanctuary for nearly fifty years” (189). Once inside, he shows her to an apartment already furnished with her things, including the trunk she insisted on keeping. He reminds her that she could still choose to live with him instead, but the woman is firm: “I look at him, loving this child of mine and knowing my death will devastate him. I don’t want him to watch me die by degrees […] I know what it is like, some images, once seen, can never be forgotten” (191).
Before he leaves, Julien gives his mother her mail, which includes a letter from Paris inviting her to a “passeurs’ reunion,” and the woman wonders how she can attend “without remembering all of it—the terrible things [she has] done, the secret [she] kept, the man [she] killed…and the one [she] should have” (192). To her son, however, she simply explains that a passeur is “someone who helped people in the war” (192).
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By Kristin Hannah