The Monkey Wrench Gang

After a long day of surgeries, Doc goes to a bar to decompress. He thinks about his first surgery, in which he performed a lobectomy on a young boy's lungs. The boy suffered from pneumonitis, bronchiectasis, and valley fever. These are all respiratory diseases that Doc believes are "poison" (233) with which the developers in the Southwest have befouled the air. Doc's second surgery was a hemorrhoidectomy on a local district attorney, described by Doc as a "red-necked white-assed blue-nosed persecutor of topless dancers" (232).

After his second martini and ogling the cocktail waitresses, Doc rides Bonnie's bicycle home. On his way, going up a hill, drivers in "arrogant chariots of iron" (234) nearly push Doc off the road. When he hears a cement-mixer's horn behind him, Doc flips him off. The driver, infuriated, passes Doc and flips him off in return. Doc retaliates with a rude gesture of Italian origin. The driver pulls over and gets out of his cab, ready to fight Doc. Doc, however, evades him and takes a turn into a vacant lot, where a lone billboard stands.

The driver gives chase and Doc again gives him the rude gesture. Not losing his composure, Doc makes the turn into the dirt lot and passes under the billboard's steel posts. The driver continues following Doc and crashes into the billboard. Doc watches the driver emerge from the cab with a nosebleed then pedals "harmlessly away" (235).

Back at his house, Doc tries to make himself dinner. Without Bonnie, though, he's at a loss. He settles for some "old leftover Abbzug chicken salad" (235) and starts to watch TV. Doc reads a postcard from Hayduke, riddled with grammar and spelling errors, asking when Doc will join them. Doc starts to miss the gang, the outdoors, and Bonnie. On the television, Doc watches the news. It's interrupted by commercials showing "eco-porn" (236) advertisements exonerating the Exxon Oil Company.

Doc goes to get another beer and when he returns, sees a "long shot of an offshore drilling rig" (236) on the television. This infuriates Doc. He puts his foot through the television's screen, shattering the glass. He then feeds Bonnie's cat, lights a cigar, and looks outside at the city. He thinks of the gang. Doc picks up a newspaper, sees an ad for a boat show, and decides he'll go look at some new houseboats.

At the logging site, under cover of darkness, Bonnie and Hayduke begin their operation. Hayduke tells Bonnie to stay on the hood of the jeep, in the pines and out of sight, and watch the road. Hayduke heads down to the site. Bonnie, indifferent to the beauty of the "vast interior of our expanding universe" (238) in the night sky, lights a joint.

At the logging site, Hayduke scrambles under a bulldozer. He works furiously with a wrench, trying to open "the drain plug in the crankcase" (239) so he can drain the vehicle's oil then start it, damaging the engine. Using a pipe, Hayduke finally gets the drain plug's nut to loosen. Just then he hears a man's voice, "deep and low" (239) and close by, address him: "How you doin', pard?" (239). Hayduke reaches for his gun but the stranger shines a flashlight at Hayduke, showing that he's got a loaded rifle trained on Hayduke's head. The stranger tells the man to finish what he's doing under there. Hayduke says he's looking for something. The stranger asks what he's looking for. Stumbling to come up with an answer, Hayduke says he's "writing a book about bulldozers" (240) so he wanted to see what they look like underneath. The stranger, not believing a word, tells Hayduke to finish the job and "let the oil out" (240).

Hayduke obliges then crawls out with his hands behind his back as the stranger instructs him. The stranger takes Hayduke's gun then tells him he's been watching him work for over an hour. He asks Hayduke his name. Hayduke hesitates. He studies the stranger's face and sees that he's wearing a bandana over his nose and mouth. Hayduke notices the man has only one eye. He asks the stranger his name and the man says Hayduke doesn't want to know.

Hayduke asks the stranger where the watchman is and the stranger replies that he's "handcuffed, hogtied, gagged, dead drunk and locked up" (242) in the office trailer. The stranger tells Hayduke that he rode his horse to the site for a faster getaway. He then hands Hayduke the keys he took from the office and helps him get the bulldozer started. Immediately, the vehicle starts whining like "a sick dog" (244). Hayduke and the stranger do their work quickly, using the bulldozer to crash into a nearby skidder.

As they clamber off the bulldozer, the stranger says someone is coming. Hayduke hears Bonnie's screams and runs towards her. In the distance, they see headlights and a spotlight, which nearly catches them in its beam. Running through the pines towards the jeep, the stranger gallops by on his horse. The men from the truck shoot at him "in futile remonstration" (245) then drive away. Hayduke gets into the jeep with Bonnie. Bonnie asks him who the man was and Hayduke says he doesn't know. 

After spending a night "camped illegally" (247), Bonnie and Hayduke awaken. Hayduke takes her to a decent breakfast at the North Rim Lodge then they head to the Grand Canyon to sightsee. That evening, Bonnie rolls a joint and shares it with Hayduke. In his stoned disorientation, Hayduke tells her they "don't have to go on" (248) like they have been. He says they could go to Oregon or "New Zealand, raise lambs" (248). Bonnie takes the joint away and asks George if he's "sick or something" (248).

In the morning, though, Hayduke recovers his "normal bale and fulsome self again" (249). He begins bossing Bonnie around again, telling her they have work to do and to make him some coffee or he'll ship her back to the Bronx. The two decide to return to Black Mesa, to check on their destruction at the Lake Powell Railroad. They park Hayduke's jeep a few miles away then find a concealed vantage point. Looking down, they see that electricity has been restored and the bridge is being rebuilt.

Hayduke tells Bonnie to get fence pliers and a power saw. They grab the tools and head towards the railway. With Bonnie as lookout, Hayduke uses the power saw to notch eleven of the power line poles near the railway. Suddenly, he hears a helicopter. Hayduke throws himself down an embankment, "willing himself invisible" (251) and waits to be caught. The helicopter, however, continues on. After finishing the pole notching, Hayduke uses the fence cutters to sever the poles' guy lines. As he does, the poles fall onto the tracks, cutting the electricity and sounding like "eighty-eight grand pianos committing simultaneous suicide" (252).

Hayduke runs out of sight, sure that "somebody must already be in radio contact with the helicopter" (253). Pausing under a tree, Hayduke, feeling "proud as pie" (253), sees a black bird above him. Hayduke imagines the bird's song having a stereotypically African-American voice. The voice warns him that people are coming for him. Hayduke throws a stone at the bird and it flies off.