The Light We Carry: Overcoming in Uncertain Times

Obama’s friend Ron begins each morning by greeting himself warmly in the mirror. Ron’s daily act of kindness toward himself prompted Obama to consider people’s relationships with themselves. She notes that Ron is a particularly warm, confident, and successful person. Obama feels that many people, herself included, struggle to show kindness to themselves and instead generate critical thoughts about their appearance. After hearing about Ron’s ritual, Obama decided to try to start her day with a similar act of kindness toward herself.

The author recommends extending this kindness to others too, referencing Toni Morrison’s advice that parents should try to “light up” when they see their children rather than appear critical, arguing that this “simple message of enoughness” (80-81) helps kids build their sense of self-worth. Obama references research showing that teachers who greet kids individually as they enter the classroom enjoy better student engagement in their lessons. She argues that this small kindness can help set the tone for future interactions. Obama reminisces about hosting children at the White House as First Lady. She recalls how the kids were happy to be hugged and receive her “straightforward gladness for them” (83).