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Throughout her life, Yang finds her Hmong identity by looking to her family or the environment around her. In Thailand’s refugee camps, being constantly surrounded by other Hmong people, Yang understood that being Hmong was normal. Everyone around her looked similar to her, shared the same customs and values, and ate the same foods. However, after moving to America, a land where she was no longer surrounded by the Hmong way of life, she had trouble relating to her Hmong identity.
Yang feels conflicted about being a Hmong living in America. From her parents and grandma, it’s clear to Yang that being Hmong in America is full of complexities. On the one hand, they have escaped death in Laos and sickness in Thailand and are living in relative safety in America, but, on the other hand, they have lost their Hmong heritage and culture along the way. Yang constantly witnesses her family trying to look forward with hope in America, yet sees them also looking back to what they had in Laos.
Yang feels caught between two worlds. Having spent her early life in the Ban Vinai Refugee Camp surrounded by the Hmong way of life, she realizes that the lives they are living in America are not the traditional Hmong way.
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By Kao Kalia Yang