The Jacket

“Like, if I’m late for math today, then I might not be allowed to take the test—and then I could flunk math! I might even flunk sixth grade and get left back! And when Mom and Dad yell at me, I’m gonna get so mad, ’cause, like, it’s not even my fault! I’ll say, ‘Hey, know what? Forget about school, that’s what!’ And I’ll just drop out and turn into a bum—or maybe even a criminal. My whole life’s gonna be a mess, and it’s all on account of my stupid little brother!”

This Chapter 1 excerpt shows Phil’s state of mind before he runs into Daniel at school. Prior to the encounter with Daniel, Phil searches for his brother, who forgot his lunch money, and Phil’s thoughts here are typical for a 12-year-old boy. He worries about things like being late for class and math tests, and this passage shows that Phil is an average kid with average concerns. Often racist biases lurk beneath other thoughts in our subconscious, and we’re only made aware of them by an incident that makes us realize the hidden feelings we’ve taken as truth.

“Phil knew that all he had done was tell the truth. About the lunch money, about the jacket, about Daniel’s grandmother. It was all true. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d done something bad.”

These lines from Phil’s thoughts come toward the beginning of Chapter 2 where Phil begins to work through his feelings about the jacket and Daniel. Phil’s version of events is correct—he was only in the fourth-grade hall to deliver his brother’s lunch money, the jacket was his, and he does know Daniel’s grandmother. While these things are true, Phil feels as if their truth is somehow wrong. These are his first feelings of guilt as he realizes that, though he was truthful, his actions were motivated by assumptions about Daniel based on his race.