The Innocents Abroad

The sailors of the Quaker City tease the travelers about the flowery introductions they received from the Russian royalty. The travelers return to Constantinople, then begin their tour of regions associated with apostolic Christianity, beginning with Ephesus and Smyrna. Twain criticizes commentators who carelessly apply the prophesies in the Bible to various cities in the present day. 

The travelers tour areas associated with early Christianity, including the tomb of St. Polycarp, and an ancient citadel overlooking the city. Twain climbs the hill of the citadel and finds a vein of oyster shells, mixed with ancient pottery; he engages in mock-learned speculation about how they got there. Finally, Twain reflects on the curiosity of a railway running through this part of Asia. 

The company boards the train and travels to Ephesus, where St. Paul preached and was imprisoned and where many classical heroes visited. The travelers ride donkeys to the city’s ancient amphitheater and see other impressive ruins. Twain digresses into a silly “legend” told in mock-biblical language about a group of early Christian men who fell asleep for two centuries.