The Impossible Knife of Memory

Sand is a motif that represents the horror of war. In the chapters from Andy’s perspective, he describes sand as destructive and difficult to remove. In a literal sense, he is talking about the sand from the deserts of the Middle East, where he served. Sand can be destructive, like the sandstorm that he saw kill a disabled girl. He uses the motif of sand to represent the experiences he cannot forget. He says, “I still believe in honor, but sand plugs my heart. It sifts through the holes in my brain” (236). He also says, “I wash and wash trying to get rid of the sand. Every grain is a memory” (301). The same way a sandstorm is all encompassing, so too are his memories. He says that “the worst of it is seeing the sand sweep across the deep sea-blue of [his] daughter’s eyes” (301). This shows that the horror of war extends beyond those who fight in it—it also affects the ones they love.

Gloaming is a symbol that represents Hayley and Andy’s states of mind. As Andy describes, gloaming is the moment “when the sun is below the horizon, but it’s still light enough to see” (142) and “that short, murky time between half-light and dark” (144).