The Hand That First Held Mine

Elina and Ted take the baby to a health center for a check-up. Ted waits outside while the nurse tells Elina the baby is healthy. After the visit, Elina finds Ted sitting on a wall near the health center with his head in his hands. He’s trying to remember a nursery rhyme from his childhood. Elina worries again about his health.

Ted comes home from picking up a few things at the shop. He can’t find Elina and rushes around the house, terrified and confused. Margot arrives to visit the baby, and for a moment Ted has an odd sensation that he doesn’t recognize her. When she realizes he’s worried about Elina, she goes to make tea. He follows her into the kitchen and sees that the back door key is in the door, which means Elina must be in the garden studio. Ted watches through the window of the studio as Elina paints, the baby napping nearby. As he watches her work, he recognizes the woman she was before the trauma of the birth. He remembers feeling “privileged to be able to witness the private workings of this unusual life” that Elina leads as an artist (130).