The Goldfish Boy

“My bedroom was the best part of the house. It was safe. It was free from germs. Out there, things were dangerous.”

Matthew makes it clear early in his narration that he is an extremely careful and fearful person. Although he has yet to reveal the cause of his anxiety, this quotation confirms Matthew’s greatest fear (germs) and the lengths to which he will go to avoid that intense fear. His belief that things are “dangerous” in the world outside (“out there”) also speaks to his intense social isolation.

“What people didn’t seem to understand was that dirt meant germs and germs meant illness and illness meant death.”

This quotation marks the first moment in the text that Matthew alludes to the root cause of his intense phobia of germs. More than germs and the potential illnesses they may breed, Matthew fears death. This quotation also points to the fact that Matthew feels alone in his fear of germs, given that it is legitimate to him yet something most other people do not “seem to understand.”

“I’d been washing my hands. That’s what I’d been doing. They were never clean enough, so I had to keep going back to try and get the germs off.”

Matthew recalls when his best friend, Tom, began noticing his peculiar behavior at school. Fearing the germs that he may have contracted throughout the school day, Matthew begins washing his hands periodically, several times an hour, to combat potential germs. This quote indicates that Matthew’s fear of germs is greater than his fear of looking strange to his classmates.