The Girl Who Smiled Beads: A Story of War and What Comes After

Wamariya has “never been a gentle protectress” (237); rather, her care of Claire’s children was “militarized,” for she had to “shield them from harm and death” (237).

Wamariya comes home one day to find her nephew Freddy and his friends watching TV, and she scolds him for not washing the dishes. She makes his friends leave, acknowledging they “hated” her. She also acknowledges that, being “broken,” she was taking her anger out on these kids. She decides to help Freddy and Mariette leave home and guides them as they plan their futures in college.

After she graduates from college, she decides not to move back in with the Thomases, for she has to “move on, grow up” (238). Unwilling to move back in with Claire or with her parents, she moves to California with her boyfriend Ryan.

Though she “play[s] the part” of herself, “no role” feels comfortable to her (239). When she speaks in front of audiences, she tries “to be relevant and not too frightening” (240). She dresses in five-inch heels because she “need[s] to be stared at, to be adored and loved” (241). Sometimes people are disappointed that she is “not defeated” because they want to help her, to be “more powerful” than she is (241).