The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

In Chapter 10 (Guidepost 7), Brown and her husband, Steve, compare two lists. One list is titled “ingredients for joy and meaning” and is filled with items that enhance wholehearted living and the enjoyment of life, such as meaningful work and “time to piddle, time with family and close friends, alone time, and time to just hang out” (132). The other list is titled “the dream list” and features the professional and material accomplishments that the Browns hope to acquire (132). The common denominator undergirding this second list was that the Browns would have to spend increased time working to earn more money. This list of items to strive for did nothing to make their lives more fulfilling in the moment, and the Browns ultimately concluded that prioritizing the wholehearted-living list would mean “actually living our dream—not striving to make it happen in the future, but living it right now” (132). However, deciding to adopt the wholehearted-living list felt countercultural, as they were going against the ideology of incessant productivity and achievement that they had learned since childhood. Indeed, their children, still in elementary school at this stage, complained that they were not doing as many extracurriculars as their overscheduled friends, and the Browns privately worried that curtailing these might mean that their children would not make their first-choice colleges down the road.