The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence

Content Warning: The Gift of Fear’s purpose is to help the reader avoid violence. While not graphic, it depicts murder, sexual abuse, sexual assault, stalking, extortion, exploitation, and domestic violence, with some examples involving children.

Gavin de Becker opens The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence with the story of Kelly, a woman who survived kidnapping, sexual assault, and attempted murder. Hoping to understand how she became a target but emerged alive, Kelly sought consultation. As de Becker guides her through each moment of her ordeal, she uncovers new insights. On the day of the attack, she returned home with groceries and was annoyed to find the door to her apartment building open, and closed it firmly. When Kelly heard a voice behind her on the stairs, she did not consider the idea that her attacker had been waiting inside the building—for she hadn’t heard the door open again. She was frustrated and apprehensive when her attacker, a seemingly friendly man, insisted on helping with her groceries. Eventually, she was disarmed by his manipulation. Kelly’s attacker maintained this façade until he was inside her apartment, where she endured hours of sexual assault.