49 pages • 1 hour read
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“Maybe, Sila thought, anything that you are told to do isn’t as good as when you make the choice yourself. Everyone wants to be the boss of their own life.”
When Sila first hears that Oya must return to Turkey, she struggles to grasp why her parents are so upset. Initially, Sila views the situation as an opportunity for Oya to reconnect with family and revisit cherished places. However, as she observes her parents' distress, Sila empathizes with their feelings. She understands that everyone desires autonomy and control over their own lives, a recurring theme echoed throughout the novel.
“It took some time for them to get used to the fact that they were facing a crisis. It was sharp in the beginning and time turned it to something deep and dull and even more difficult. It turned into their new reality.”
The most challenging aspect of Oya's absence is the prolonged waiting. What begins as hopeful anticipation turns into a grueling eight-month ordeal with no signs of progress or relief. Sila and her father grapple with feelings of powerlessness, unable to influence or expedite their circumstances. As the days pass without resolution, they struggle to adapt to this change while the world around them is unperturbed, oblivious to their plight.
“But since her mother had gone, Sila could hear every train that rattled past. She watched through the glass and imagined all the people traveling and felt her stomach knot. They all had somewhere to go.”
Sila experiences a sense of confinement amid her circumstances, feeling trapped by the challenges surrounding her. What once seemed insignificant now looms as a source of irritation and anxiety for her, with the train serving as a symbol of her mounting frustrations and burdens.
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By Holly Goldberg Sloan