The Distance Between Us

The Distance Between Us is a 2012 memoir by Reyna Grande, who is also the author of the novels Across a Hundred Mountains and Dancing With Butterflies. A finalist for the National Books Critics Circle Award and required reading in schools and colleges across the country, The Distance Between Us is followed by A Dream Called Home, which continues the story of Grande’s life. In addition to writing, Grande also teaches and works as a motivational speaker. The page numbers herein refer to the paperback edition published by Washington Square Press.

The Distance Between Us is divided into two parts. The first part tells of Reyna’s early childhood in an impoverished Mexican village. Her father leaves the family behind when she is two, hoping to save money and return to Mexico and live in his dream home. Eventually, he sends for Reyna’s mother to join him; Reyna and her siblings live with their grandmother Evila. Reyna awaits her mother’s return and starts to forget her father; when her mother does return, she is accompanied by a new baby. Confused and feeling replaced, Grande longs for her father to save her as her mother exits and re-enters her life.

Reyna’s hardships continue, as Evila is a cruel, selfish, and violent woman. Mago, her 11-year-old sister, acts as mother to Reyna and their brother Carlos. Still, Reyna feels her parents’ absence deeply. To help her feel better, her sister Mago shows her the spot in their yard where Reyna’s umbilical cord is buried. She explains the cord is an invisible link between Reyna and their mother and that they will always be connected no matter the distance between them.

When Reyna eventually learns that her parents have split up, her loyalties shift, and she feels compelled to side with one over the other. To her relief, Reyna finally moves with her siblings into Grandmother Chinta’s house; while the poverty is even worse there, Chinta offers them love and affection. Doubting her mother’s ability to care for them, Reyna and her siblings begin to long for and idealize a father they haven’t seen in eight years. Their only hope is that he will come back and rescue them.

The second half of the book follows Reyna’s emotionally overwhelming new life in Los Angeles after her father smuggles her and her siblings across the border. Los Angeles is noisy, crowded, and dangerous. As a non-English speaker, Reyna endures the hardships of having to overcome not only a language barrier but also culture shock. Additionally, she needs to recognize that her idealized image of her father is a lie. He is an alcoholic with violent mood swings. When the children misbehave or do anything to annoy him, he beats them viciously and threatens to return them to Evila in Mexico. Reyna seeks a new mother figure in her father’s new girlfriend, while at the same time feeling further estranged from her mother, who is now living in Los Angeles and is more worried about her own survival than the well-being of her children.

Eventually, Reyna is able to separate herself from her father; emotionally, however, she still seeks his approval. She attends college and finds a mentor who introduces her to Latina/Chicana literature. Finally she finds herself at her father’s deathbed and demonstrates for the reader the power of strength, understanding, and forgiveness. She is able to let go of her attachment to heart-breaking memories and hopes in order to stand on her own.